Mary P. Stiskin Mackey was born Mary Madalyn Palomba in Old Greenwich, Connecticut on January 25th, 1946. Her Parents were Italian and Danish immigrants and she was the baby sister to her older brother, Louis. She met her first husband, Richard Stiskin, in 1970 and soon after married and settled in Norwood, Massachusetts. They had two children together, Jeffrey Scott Stiskin, in 1972 and Michael David Stiskin in 1975. Shortly after her younger son was born, they divorced and she moved to Stamford, Connecticut. In 1980, she met her second husband, Bill Mackey, and they soon moved to Redding, Connecticut where she became a homemaker and raised her two boys and helped raise Bill's young son, Billy. In 1987, Mary gave birth to her only girl, Jill Eleanor Mackey, on Mother's Day, which completed their little brady bunch family. Eleanor was chosen as the middle name in honor of both Mary and Bill's Mother's names, which was also Eleanor. Bill & Mary divorced in 2004.
Early on in her life, Mary worked several jobs as a medical technician, bookkeeper and secretary. While she was a dedicated employee, family always came first. After she had her children, she would choose jobs that would allow her to take her kids to work as they were her heart and she would not be without them. She would do bookkeeping or secretarial work in people's private homes so the kids could be there too. She was the very definition of sacrifice, even if that meant allowing Jill to pull her hair into 85 different scrunchies and play dress up for hours, without complaining. She was a good sport!
During their childhoods, Mary was always the room mother, went on all the field trips and made all the Halloween costumes. She helped them all with endless projects and homework assignments, which usually ended in her completely taking over and staying up all night to perfect it while the kids got A's and took all the credit. She attended every sporting event, even if she didn't know what was going on and what to cheer for. She saved every trophy, every award, newspaper article, and every picture & made countless albums all of which she put a little of herself into. She also loved all of her children's friends like they were her own and always loved being on a first name basis. She created the 'cool' house & kept everyone in check. Everyone was always welcome on 22 Ledgewood! If anyone ever doubted that, you'd only need to look around the kitchen cabinets & fridge which were covered with pictures of her children and their achievements as well as friends and family. She was a proud momma bear.
Mary was known for her daily calls to check in to make sure everyone was okay, even as her children grew up and moved out. She was also well known for her extravagant declarations of love. During Jill's first year of college, Mary wrote her a letter every day (with her unique handwriting!) so she wouldn't feel so homesick. During the subsequent summers, Mom would wait on the deck for Jill when she would be out late babysitting so she wouldn't be scared coming home in the dark. One time, Mom even faxed a copy of a newspaper article Jeff had written as a child about wanting to be a career firefighter to his job, just to show she was thinking about him. When Michael got married, Mom searched high & low for a 'Bride & Groom' cake topper that looked like them for the party she threw at her house. That was the kind of woman she was, always going above and beyond for her kids. They were always her shining lights. Though she was a tough cookie to deal with at times and knew how to weave a tale or two, she would always stick up for her children.
She was compassionate, unconditionally loving and did everything she could to nurture her children into the people they became. She always wanted to make sure they were safe, even while she struggled with her own demons. During a particularly rough time, she dedicated the song "Because you loved me" by Celine Dion to her kids to let them know what an integral role they played in her recovery process.
Mary was super fun and everywhere she went, she was the life of the party. She had class & strength and was described by others as a 'bright light' who was always so full of life. She was pragmatic and kind, silly & lovable and had an extremely contagious laugh, especially when she was laughing at herself. She always had a line on the town's gossip, was always down for good conversation and always had time for the things that mattered to those she loved.
Christmas was by far her favorite holiday. Every year, She would fill the room with perfectly wrapped gifts & stocking stuffers (mounds, almond joys & pistachios!), the tree was meticulously decorated, the house was covered in the Christmas village, her spoon & figurine collection was ever growing, and there were more Green tree Christmas cookies than anyone knew what to do with (which never tasted the same when anyone else made them!). The menu came out a week ahead of time, often including her personal specialties; chicken cutlets, shrimp scampi, chili with croissants, and meatloaf!
She enjoyed all aspects of life from traveling and cooking, watching her Soaps while enjoying a French Cruller, lunch at Plain Janes & mani/pedis, to hanging out at the Country Diner & the Redding Country Club, to drinking, smoking and living it up. She never missed out on a good opportunity to celebrate and make people feel special, whether it was a wedding, a birthday or a holiday.
There were lots of ebbs & flows, especially in her later years, as mental illness began to take over, but through it all, she never missed a chance to tell her children she loved & missed them, ending every phone call with those very words. She taught her children how to make everybody feel like a somebody, not take everything so seriously and how to live with a warrior spirit. She was brave and she taught them how to weather a storm. She was non-judgmental but also, a VERY reliable source if you ever wanted to know how you really looked in something.
When word got out about her untimely passing, 200 plus people responded with posts on social media, calls & texts with wonderful memories and beautiful comments about how much she meant to them. Even during her most difficult times, she never lost her adventurous spirit, her wit, or her wisdom. Most importantly, she always did her best to try to keep everyone connected and the world will be a darker place without her shining spirit.
She lived in Connecticut in and around family until she peacefully passed on April 9th, 2020, surrounded by the knowledge of how loved she was. She was 74 years old. She was preceded by her mother, Eleanor, her father, Louis, her Father in Law, Oscar "Bernie" Stiskin, her Mother in Law, Marjorie "Marge" Stiskin, a variety of Aunts & Uncles and her two favorite Granddogs, Toby & Bluebelle.
She is survived by her sons, Jeff & Mike Stiskin, and her daughter, Jill Mackey.
The proper memorial service she deserved will be held later in this year when the public gathering restrictions are lifted. Until then, we will do our best to live in her memory and carry her light with us always. Whenever we catch a whiff of Shalimar, we will think of Mom in her hay-day when anything was possible.
A life well lived, a Mom well loved.